The Scout, 1912 July (article)

”, 20. July 1912, p. 1090

Courtesy and Scouting in the Street

Whatever be the time of year, opportunities for scouting are present even when wild nature is remote, for human nature is all about us. Our especial subject now is scouting in the street, and of all the laws the one most needed in such work is the law of courtesy.

Most of the rudeness and discourtesy that annoy us is met with in the street, and it is the business of the Scout to lessen it, that is to show that he is a gentleman.

What is a Gentleman?

Few words are more abused and misapplied than “gentleman.” In many regions a gentleman is “a fellow you like” and “no gentleman” is one who has displeased you. While other people again think that a gentleman is one belonging to the upper classes.

However, we may take it that a gentleman is a man who is personally clean, always courteous, and perfectly self-controlled.

A clean person must of necessity keep the processes of purification out of sight. That is, for example, he must not perform his toilet in any place but bedrooms or lavatories. Evidently it is improper to comb one’s hair, change one’s collar, clean or pare one’s nails, pick one’s teeth or house-clean one’s features in public. These are things that belong to the bedroom, and they should never be performed in other places where people are present.

To be courteous at all times we must remember to have common sense, self-respect, and the kindly consideration of others in our daily life.

There are a few cases in which a custom is continued after its cause has disappeared, but it should be absolutely accepted that conventionality, so much abused by some, is kindness, reasonableness and good sense minutely applied in all our relations with other folk — and the sum total of it is courtesy. Or in other words, courtesy is a complete extension of the golden rule to the smallest doings of life.

As a familiar illustration, why do educated men raise their hats in salutation? This custom dates from the days of chivalry.

A travelling knight met another with whom he wished no quarrel, so raised_ his open right hand to show that he held no weapon ready, that is, “I come in peace.”

As they drew still nearer each raised his vizor to expose his face and show it to be that of a friend. The dangers of the road continued long after the wearing of armour passed away, so raising the hat took the place of raising the vizor.

It was and is an evidence of equality and respect, and those who refuse to salute, thinking themselves too important, are merely stamping themselves as low and ignorant.

Furthermore, you must have something to do by way of a salute in passing your friend. Monkeys grin at each other; dogs wag their tails; men also need something simple and visible afar. It does not do to adopt monkey or dog tricks. We cannot usually wave a flag or fire a gun; the best way so far invented is the hat lift.

Remember then the salute is a sign of respect. If you respect a man and desire him to respect you, don’t hesitate to give the proper sign of it.

To be perfectly self-controlled one must have courage and repose. Most men agree that courage is the chief among virtues, but without self-control it is a danger.

Men who have become slaves to a bad habit have lost self-control.

A man who cannot sit still, or who is for ever twiddling his fingers or puckering his mouth, is deficient in repose. So also is the person who must chew tobacco or other things; he is, moreover, the slave of a disgusting, ungentlemanly habit.

Honour and refinement are also necessary to the making of a gentleman.

In the Tram

Even more so than on the street we need courtesy in the tram or train.

The law of the land does not compel a healthy Scout to give up his seat to a woman, but the law of courtesy does; for women are not so strong physically and are not able to stand as men are.

The law of courtesy also forbids whistling or loud talking in the trams, because it is annoying to everyone else.

The Scout should set the example and remember that it is against his creed to whistle, chew, spit, talk loudly or otherwise annoy anyone else when travelling.

Courtesy, then, is the first principle of street life for the Scout, and I will give one or two instances that came to my knowledge.

The Wrong Hind of Bravery.

A tenderfoot Scout was crossing a great thoroughfare; a motor-car was coming. To show his bravery this tenderfoot walked in front of the car; it slowed up, so did he, until the car had to stop to avoid running him down. The case was brought to my notice. The boy seemed to think he had done a fine, nervy thing. “He wasn’t afraid.”

I said:

“I think you are a contemptible little cad, and will see that you are well punished. The motor-car driver slowed up to respect your rights, and you hadn’t the common decency to respect his by hurrying a little. Sooner or later the fool-killer gets such as you, and when he does everyone will say served him right.”

A Scout's Good Turn.

A Scout looking for a chance to live up to his promise saw a hat blown away from a man in a tram. He ran after it, handed it to the man, and was cordially thanked. His companion said to the Scout:

“Blest if I’d do that. I ain’t his servant.”

“No,” was the reply of the Scoutmaster later, “but you were afraid that people would think you were and didn’t dare take chances. It shows how you feel inside. The man in the tram honoured as a kind equal the one who brought his hat.”

Again, a Scoutmaster held open a heavy door of a shop for two well-dressed ladies to enter. As he did so a well-dressed young man took advantage of the opportunity to rush in, never looking at or heeding the ladies or the one holding open the door.

That young man was a _contemptible character. Though in rich clothes, he was poor, cheap stuff inside. If it had been in a country where duelling was customary he would very soon have been grovelling on his knees, begging for forgiveness.

It has been suggested as a test, that a gentleman speaks to everyone in the same tone of voice.

I have often amused myself in the trams by looking at the feet, next at the newspaper, then forming my opinion of the face that behind the paper.

New York is one of the best places in the world for this, as it has some thirty languages represented, each by at least one newspaper.

On one occasion I saw a curious character in a Fourth Avenue tram. He had a pair of scissors and some black paper, with these he was cutting out silhouette portraits of the car occupants.

His actions were quick and nervous, extremely so, and he made half a dozen portraits in about a quarter of an hour.

Sometimes I get much amusement out of a study of hands. In the tram I look at the hands opposite and from them I decide whether the person is nervous, strong, tall, broad, fat, fair, red-headed, blue-eyed, educated, vulgar, etc., and soon one can make remarkably correct deductions.

Not only every part of a man tells something of his character, but his habits and mannerisms do so, and it is interesting to follow this out.

I was struck long ago by the curious measure of decision that is furnished by the revolving doors of a modern hotel. When you see a person going through them you can get a good grasp of his power of decision.

A keen, alert, dashing person takes the first opening, a cautious person takes perhaps the second; while a hesitating, undecided character takes the second or third, and perhaps makes several false starts.

There is one other character mark that I have often noticed — that is how a man carries his umbrella.

The man who swings it as he walks the crowded thoroughfare, or carries it under his arm as he mounts the steps at the station is to be classed with the kind that we can better do without.

The Indian Scouts’ Law.

I shall end this talk on “streets and courtesies,” by giving you the law of the Indian Scouts, which is little different from that of the Boy Scouts.

Be courteous. Courtesy costs so little, and counts for so much. The wise use it, even when dealing with enemies, or punishing criminals. How much more, then, should we use it in dealing with those who are known, or probably friends?

Many a man has made a success of life through his courtesy.

I know personally two not at all clever men who have made great successes simply because they are always courteous; and I also know of at least five brilliant men, geniuses indeed, who have wrecked their whole lives because they are so_coarsely, disgustingly discourteous; pretending that their mere brutal rudeness was that kind of honesty that always “calls a spade a spade.” With all their brilliant gifts the verdict of the world in each case is that “that man is a fool and a failure.”

I am tempted to add, also, these men are bullies, for there certainly is an element of bullying and cowardice in most discourtesy. Men would not behave so to anyone they knew was stronger and able to punish them.

I remember when first I went to live among the cowboys and wild men of the Plains I was greatly impressed by their courtesy. It contrasted so much with what one sees in some cities that I remarked one day to one of them who was very ready with his revolver:

“You cowboys are the politest let I ever came across.”

His answer was simple:

“Yes, it’s safer.”

Ernest Thompson Seton (m.p.)